This is Radio Yerevan.

Our listeners ask us: “Is it true that a wall is to be built to separate Mexico from America?”
We answer: No, it’s not true. It will be built to separate America from Mexico.

Our listeners ask us: “Will ICE still exist when the wall is built?”
We answer: Of course not. By then all non-citizens will have learned how to deport themselves.

Our listeners ask us: “What is chaos?”
We answer: We do not comment on ongoing FBI investigations.

Our listeners ask us: “What should we do if the northern borders of the US were opened?”
We answer: Rush to Florida at once so as not to be crushed in the stampede.

Our listeners ask us: “Is it true that there are two kinds of people serving in the House and the Senate?”
We answer: Yes, it is true. One kind is those not capable of anything at all, and the other, those capable of anything whatsoever.

Our listeners ask us: “What is an exchange of opinions?”
We answer: When you walk into the Oval Office with your viewpoint and leave with Steve Bannon’s.

Our listeners ask us: “How have you been faring in the dog-eat-dog environment of the US political media?”
We answer: Radio Yerevan has been banned from the White House press pool.

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